This is a love a letter to whom I gravitate towards but I can never reach. The one I see but I can’t touch. The one I have loved and had loved me. The one I lost, but still standing in front of my eyes.
I tried to say it to you face to face, but I didn’t have the courage. You are the true definition of a ghost from the past: you were here, but weren’t really here. You gave me your time, but the moment didn’t really exist.
I’ve known you for over a decade, loved you, hated you, missed you, but never forget you. I thought those butterflies in my stomach are dead but every time I see you they somehow resurrected. You lit fireworks inside me, the kind that made me feel happy and warm inside.
I can’t say it to your face, but know that I do wish we took another path in the past. For now, I wish we can meet again at a different time, under a better circumstances.
And I know that you’re crazy but brilliant at the same time, your ideas are extremely off the grid and you will never live up to anyone’s expectation or ‘normal’standard. I’ve always wanted to tell you this: If I am given the chance, I would be there to do all those crazy things with you. Whatever your mind tells you to do, count me in, I would gladly live through your imagination. Because I believe in you. Always have, always will.
I hope one day I’ll be brave enough to look into your eyes and tell you that leaving was a mistake. You know, instead of making excuses to talk to you or see you, I wish I could express it directly to you. Looking back, we were young, I was naive and you let me go. If I could turn back time, I would not change my decision, but instead I would like to give you more love so that I won’t be holding on to it until today.
In the chances of us ever getting back together, which is really really low,
I hope you know this: there is a corner of my heart that will forever be yours. I don’t mean for now or until I’ve found somebody else. I mean forever. Forever forever. Even if I fall in love with different persons a thousand times over, or just once, or never again, that corner is yours.
I’m not the same person anymore, but I will forever be the same girl who fell for that one weird sleepy guy.